Tripod 15th of August

0

robojan2

Hey Spring Break fans,

Peter Weller here, armed to serve but also protect you all from the latest arresting development in the world of Spring Break. Just caught up with the guys on the CB radio and they’ve asked I brief you with their sincerest regards.

When Spring Break docked their schooner in to the Hampton summer-home port of Hollywood producer Jon Davison in July of 1986, they came ashore with grade-A Quaaludes, a war chest of indeterminate cocktail mixture and a concept for what they thought would be the sure fire blockbuster comedy hit of 1987.  A heartwarming, bawdy romp set in the not too distant future..

ROBOCOPS.

Unfortunately, the future has a way of arriving unannounced.

If I said to you: “All star cast?” you’d probably reply: “Spring Break, Conrad Bain, Rue McClanahan, Bruce Boxleitner, Sharon Gless, Robin Givens, Mark Harmon, Lea Thompson, Robert Guillaume, Jack Klugman and Loni Anderson”.

And if I said to you: “How good would it be to see that ensemble in a movie, set not to far from now, playing cyborg cops who dispense booze first and ask questions later?” I’m guessing you’d say: “Tell me more”?

Well, what if I told you this predictably implausible vision of a few years after tomorrow is a world where all holiday resorts are 5 star, ghettos have been eradicated due to equality of cocktail dissemination and passports have been replaced by personalised Ray-Bans? Don’t answer, just think about it.

The executives at Orion Pictures didn’t need even a second to do so – Robocops was green lighted but then inexplicably shelved almost as quickly as you could say ‘enormous act of folly in the making’. Rumours still abound as to why this happened. Some say it was due to Spring Break’s insistence of a gratuitous product placement every 45 seconds. Others still, cite the focusing of their efforts on making their inaugural Pebble Beach Pro-Am tournament a success. Though most critics still agree it was due, in large, to Jan Van Couver demanding the project be a solo effort called Robocop – like that would work..

But that was the past, when the future wasn’t what it used to be – now yesterday’s tomorrow is here, at last. This August 15th, Spring Break will be celebrating the long-anticipated cinematic release of Robocops with a show in Dublin’s Tripod. Tickets for this show are €24.50 and go on sale at 10am Wednesday July 1st, online at www.tickets.ie and in Sound Cellar of Nassau St.

I’m looking forward to being on the beat with you all.

Keep the fire burnin’,

Peter & Spring Break